© 2018 Tina DeMatteo

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Victim Mentality



Those who hold onto being filled with pain from his or her past will not be able to move toward happiness. We cannot have both. Our pain will always be a part of our story, but it cannot be held onto in the form of constant suffering from it all. We can learn to accept the pain for the lessons learned and use it to help others who have gone through similar experiences.


It is not productive to stay mired in our past trauma, feel as a loser or blame others for our feelings. We have to take control of our own lives and happiness. It is wise to turn shaming thoughts around immediately and replace them with encouraging words, so we can move forward from them quickly. Ruminating on these thoughts only keeps us in a never-ending cycle of not being happy.


We are the only one that can change what we are not happy with in our lives. We all have the power to stand in our own individuality and take action toward our truest hopes and dreams.

Everything that we need in life is available to us. Those who get caught up in a victim mindset often reach out to others for support. This keeps them in the same cycle of not standing in their own truth and power. They continue to feel as the victim, they become a burden on the others that help and it is not healthy for anyone involved.


The only way to break the cycle of victimhood is to stand in our own resolve in connection with the Universe. We can only truly heal our most wounded parts of our soul when we become one with who we truly are. We cannot find true healing from the support of others, as if they will fill the void within us. We are powerful in our own right—we just have to believe it.


We all fall victim to taking on the influences of others at times. We share our stories and we receive feedback. We have the choice to politely say thank you for that advice, while learning to only follow what we know is right for us. Somehow, even when we decline to accept what others say, the advice given can creep in, as we think about solutions. More often than not, this advice is not what is the best for us personally, so it is critical that we learn to only follow what is true to us.


Sometimes we have to take some needed time to be alone to not have any outside influences and only contact our inner guide for solutions. We are the only ones that know exactly what it is that we want in our life. It can just get muddled at times from all of the noise around us. Confidence starts to build the more that we contact our intuition and follow what we hear and not what others want for us. As life becomes easier and happier we will learn to trust our inner guide over any outside influence.


We have to become number one in our life. If we do not take care of ourselves, we cannot be there for others. We have to take steps to remove negative outside influences, which are literal obstacles on our path to where our ultimate happiness is waiting for us. The result is to live the life that we want—not the life others want for us.