© 2018 Tina DeMatteo

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Emotional Safety

Updated: Jun 24, 2019


Feeling Emotionally Safe Can Lead to Developed Trust

Emotional safety is at the center of all emotions. It is dependent on becoming aware of our emotional triggers, developing boundaries and sticking to them. It is our feelings in a protected state. We are able to be open with our feelings around those who we feel emotionally safe, while we shut down or become ungrounded when we do not feel safe.


Physical safety is most often thought of as the only area needed to feel safe, which leaves out all other areas that we seek protection from danger, risk, or loss. Emotional safety is equally important for our well-being. If emotional safety is ignored it can lead to being physically unsafe. Extra awareness is needed when around unfamiliar people and surroundings.


Alcohol and other substances are best avoided if a person has a hard time knowing his or her limit. Anything that alters consciousness will thin the ability to develop clear boundaries and raises serious safety risks all around.


If we do not feel safe emotionally, our whole being is in an uneasy state. We may not even be aware that we are feeling unsafe, because of past conditioning. We may feel naturally comfortable in an unhealthy environment, as we tend to attract similar experiences from our past until we learn the lesson needed.


Emotional safety is rooted in our feelings, because, again, feelings are at the root of our emotional expressions. We may act out emotions in a way that we have learned to protect ourselves in the past when we have not felt safe, until we learn to remove ourselves from the unsafe experience.


Sensitive souls are often the most vulnerable in protecting his or her feelings. They are like a sponge taking in everything around them. A common defense is to withdraw or isolate, even if they are not aware of the reason. His or her intuition has them repelling the energy that has them feeling uneasy. These types are often born healers that are in need of guidance to learn how to navigate the energy they are feeling. It is imperative that these individuals are always aware of their surroundings and who they are in relations with.


Understanding personal boundaries are extremely important in feeling emotionally safe. It is essential for people to know his or her personal limits and stick to them.



Questions can be asked to understand how emotional safety affects each of us personally.

•What is it that will ignite uncomfortable and uneasy feelings?

•What emotional reaction was expressed as a child to painful experiences?

•What are personal emotional triggers and what emotions are expressed when triggered?

•Is it someone telling secrets?

•Is it feeling disconnected?

•Is it being abandoned?

•Is it fear of being sexually violated?

•Is it financial insecurity?

•Is it being yelled at?

•Is it being physically abused?

•Name a personal trigger that is not stated above.


The understanding of what it is that may trigger an emotion expands our awareness to make more conscious choices going forward. This will then lead us to process them and resolve them more quickly to then release them for complete healing.


Emotions, as well as our background story and traumas are unique to us individually. Everyone has different emotional safety concerns and emotional triggers. We may share similar experiences, but we all have different perceptions of the experiences.


It is important to communicate emotional safety concerns in relationships, so boundaries are understood and not crossed. Learn to avoid or cut the cord from people and events that will lead to unsafe feelings. For example, if past abandonment were an area of concern, it would be wise to seek relationships, whether friendly or intimate, with those who will be a more solid connection. Or, if specific gatherings trigger uneasy feelings, then it is imperative to honor those feelings and not to take the risk. Going into relationships consciously will help to avoid future emotionally painful experiences.


Awareness of our emotional safety triggers makes life a lot easier, safer and healthier.